I consider myself a normal human being and I think I know what gym etiquette is. These are just a few things that you absolutely should not do while "working out."
Do you do any of these things at the gym? Yes? How about you stop...NOW!
1. Do you take your cell phone in the gym and actually talk on it while faining that you are exercising? Worse yet, do you use the fake secret service lookin' bluetooth earpiece and walk around acting like the most important person in the joint? You're just not that important...plus, every1 near you thinks that you are talking to them when they can't see your stupid earpiece!
2. Ladies...are you really getting a good workout while your face is buried in the latest Hollywood Rag Mag? Isn't it amazing how fast Jessica Alba bounced back from having a baby? That Bitch!
3. Guys...Yes there are mirrors all over the gym, YES you may glance at yourself while exercising to check your form, YES, you can make sure that white head on your nose isn't ready to pull a Mt. St. Helens, but do not ever, EVER, EVER pull up your shirt to flex your washboard, Greg Plitt lookin abs, or any other muscle for that matter! Save it for the bathroom mirror!
4. Do you really have to let the whole gym know that you are squatting 400lbs by grunting and groaning at the top of your lungs? "Hey, look at me, I won't be able to walk without a serious limp when I'm 40!" That's what you should be yelling!
5. Do you leave your DNA all over the equipment when you are done using it? You see those spray bottles? You see those towels? Learn to use them please!
6. Guys (and maybe gals?)...In the locker room; must you walk around brushing your teeth, flossing, shaving, steaming, conversing, and whistling BUTT NAKED??? Seriously, I see this WAY TOO MUCH! I understand its a locker room and I understand you played high school football 30 plus years ago, but c'mon man, some of us just had a pre-workout shake and don't need to see your your JUNK!
7. Do you wear a weightlifting belt? Do you? REALLY? How's this, if your name is Sven or Magnus and you are in the back of the gym lifting Volkswagens, you can wear a belt or anything else for that matter because no1 will mess with you!
8. Talking form and technique. Do you... 1) bounce the barbell off of your chest when doing a bench press? 2) have your spine in the shape of an upside down "U" when doing a bent over row? 3) swing back and forth doing a bicep curl so you can curl those 60lb dumbells? Good job, we're all very impressed. 4) hang on for dear life to the handrails on the stepper placing all of your body weight on your wrists as opposed to the muscles that are actually supposed to be doing the work - the LEGS? 5) pull on the back of your neck when doing crunches? 6) do lat pulldowns pulling the bar down behind your neck? STOP IT NOW AND LEARN HOW TO DO IT RIGHT! Here's an idea, put your pride in your pocket and talk to a certified personal trainer!
9. Please stop it with the perfume and the cologne! If you think you stink, don't try to cover it up with Red Door or Stetson! You stink worse than the original B.O. you brought yourself in with and you are making every1 around you violently ill.
10. Do you think the gym is a night club fellas? It's not...trying to pick up a girl in the gym is probably the single biggest turn-off that exists! If you're working out to get chicks, that's fine, but please stop trying to get them AT the gym! Also, if your one of those belt wearing, barbell bouncing, arm swinging meatheads and you try to show little miss make-up how to do an exercise or try to tell her that she can do more weight, guess what? You look like an ASS to both her and the normal people like me witnessing your sorry attempt to know what you are talking about!
Again, these things just came to MY mind, there are PLENTY more out there! Please leave me a comment with some of your gym pet peeves.
No comments:
Post a Comment